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Optimize for Joy

March 2, 2012 in Blog, Family, Generosity, Inspiration, Life with 18 Comments

Recently, an entrepreneur whom I advise asked me what I optimize for. Knowing that I do a small amount of investing, am writing a book (slowly), advise companies, support a few charities, have a family and am a partner in a management consulting firm; he wondered how I decide how and with whom I spend my time. For me, it’s really easy. I don’t optimize for a specific financial outcome (maybe I should) or a particular professional goal (maybe I should) – I simply optimize for joy – the amount of joy that I experience and the amount of joy that I can bring to others; including friends, family and often strangers. It’s a simple decision-making process for me – I’m either joyful or am bringing joy to others (which makes me happy so it’s actually a selfish act) or I’m not. If I’m not, I don’t spend time on it.

Merriam-Webster defines joy as “the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires” – that sounds about right to me.

In his New York Times Best Seller “Emotional Equations”, which I’m loving, my friend Chip Conley (@ChipConley) expresses joy in the following way:

Joy = Love-Fear

That also seems right to me. Being an engineer by training, if you drive fear to a number approaching zero, then Joy = Love, and that equation works for me. Yup, that equation works really well. The more love you experience and give, the more joy you have. Who doesn’t want that? Why optimize for anything else? What else is there?

Thanks for the equation Chip!

What equation works for you? What do you optimize for?

Really, I want to know. Thanks for sharing.

Bury My Heart at Conference Room B – a book review

January 24, 2012 in Culture, Inspiration, Leadership with 0 Comments

Bury My Heart at Conference Room B was written by Stan Slap, of slap (company). Though a “New York Times Bestseller”, I hadn’t heard of this book or known of Stan’s work. I loved this book. I actually listened to it through Audible. I had the fortune of meeting Stan a couple weeks ago and talking about the concepts that are conveyed in the book and delivered through their services.
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2011 – A Year of Loss – What I learned

January 10, 2012 in Family, Generosity, Inspiration, Life with 13 Comments

I had many amazing experiences in 2011 including attending Burning Man for the first time, had a great time at Summit Series, spent a ton of time with my wife and kids (my top priority), spent lots of time with my parents, sold my company – Leverage Software, made new friends, deepened relationships, enjoyed Costa Rica with a great group of friends, had a great year professionally, started a new gig with an amazing company and people doing amazing stuff (more on that in a future post) and many other fantastic things. This post, however, is about the loss that I suffered with a focus on what I learned. Until 2011, I hadn’t lost anyone close to me in a tragic way and have always considered myself blessed in this way.

I lost a friend —– you can help

November 23, 2011 in Family, Generosity, Inspiration, Life with 10 Comments

I lost a friend —– you can help.

Just short of two years ago I met Tom at USCF where our sons were playing soccer together. Tom is a charismatic, outgoing and conversational guy. We immediately connected on topics including work, kids, sports and the neighborhood. Tom and I live a block away from one another and both have very flexible work schedules. Along with having lots in common, these factors allowed us to spend lots of time together over the last two years. I suppose we spent an average of 4 days a week together having coffee, going for a walks or heading to the gym. Often, we would plan to go to the gym but would walk past it and continue to the Ferry Building so that we could continue our conversation or because it was just too nice out to be inside. Sharing a passion for starting companies, we actually worked on a project together helping a new company get off the ground. Tom excelled at what he did.
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THIS is Burning Man – what I didn’t realize – 63 photos, 1 short video, 792 words

September 6, 2011 in Culture, Entrepreneurship, Family, Generosity, Inspiration, Leadership, Life with 4 Comments

I’ve been wanting to go to burning man for 6 or 7 years – as long as I’ve know about it. For a number of reasons – kids, business school, family vacations back east, startups, life – I haven’t been able to swing it – until this year. Burning Man is a bunch of things to different people so this is just my view of what it is. To me, it’s the best of the best in a number of categories. It’s the best of sharing, community, partying, self-expression, art, creativity, friendship, giving, love, delivering on ideas and more. Having had the great fortune to enjoy TED and Summit Series a number of times, I see so much overlap with these amazing experiences. It is no surprise that a couple hundred people I know from TED and Summit went to the playa this year.

I knew that I would love the playa, but it was so much more than I expected. I didn’t realize that there would be so many amazing demonstrations of art – in the thousands, not in the hundreds as expected. I didn’t imagine that there were so many incredible parties at any time of the day – I knew there would be some, but I didn’t realize that when I awoke at 5:00 AM to go to the Temple to leave behind clothes that belonged to my brother, having worn them the night before, that I would be enticed by a dozen dance parties in the playa (Robot Heart – you were everywhere).

I didn’t realize that people would be offering free coffee and cigarettes at 4:15 & G for those returning from a night of partying or that so many people that I had spoken with for only 15 minutes would give me gifts that I’ll remember for a lifetime, or that you could bike to deep playa for coffee and eggs at Dust City Diner at 7 AM. I knew that there would be generous offers but didn’t realize that there would be an invitation to dinner every night of the Burn and didn’t realize that I would build new friendships.

I knew that the Temple would be an amazing place for me with the recent passing of my brother but I didn’t realize that I would be compelled to spend 8 hours in there thinking, crying, consoling others, watching the sunset, enjoying the harp and other instruments which played constantly, partying as the man burned, and returning every morning to be comforted and comfort others who had suffered a recent loss. It was such an incredibly spiritual and moving place for so many – I can’t imagine a better environment to enjoy with my brother and the thousands who have last their own. The amount of love that went into the creation of that temple and that passed through the temple was incredible.

I didn’t realize that Center Camp would be so inspiring with talks at the level of TED or Summit, amazing music, yoga classes, drum circles, art projects, fashion shows and more. I didn’t realize that I would be involved in pulling a Trojan horse before it’s burn or an international talent show in the deep playa. I knew I would meet great people but it was more than I expected at every moment. I didn’t realize that volunteers would be giving tours of the art installations twice a day so that we can understand the artist viewpoint of their creation.

Burning Man was one of the most inspirational experiences of my life – (Photos here and short video here). I think that there is incredible resource in the community. To me, there isn’t a better example of delivering on creative desires – maybe others that compare, but none better. To believe in an idea and create something amazing for such a short period of time for others to enjoy is such a generous gift, so much so that it can be overwhelming as you ride your bike on the playa around sunrise or sunset. I believe that the resources exist in the Burning Man community to address some very serious global issues and deliver solutions that work. I believe this so deeply that I’ll be reaching out to the Board (whom I’ve met recently) to discuss my ideas with them. Burning Man is about self-expression and delivering on that expression – this is such an important resource.

I want to thank my friends, Philip, Tom, Sandra and Everett for helping to make this an incredible experience, and my wife, Luann, for making this happen by supporting me and taking care of the boys while I enjoyed this amazing experience. I love you. Burning Man is about giving and you gave me the experience of a lifetime. Thank you all very much! It’s good to be a Burner.